I wake up to snow, normally this is an awesome thing. But today for some really friggin weird reason it wasn't. I've been all bleh today, and I have no idea why. I mean fuck christmas is in a few days..normally that's enough to make me giddy for weeks, but I'm not. Maybe because of the somewhat sureal thing that happened a few days ago that has slowly gotten me to thinking. And usually when I'm "thinking" that's not a good thing. See I have a problem, I tend to over-think things. And thus the by-product of my thinking is I tend to fuck up whatever I've got going for me. And thus I'm in that mode. So I have a feeling I'm going to fuck something up, and that it's going to be something I really don't want to lose. So needless to say this should be an 'interesting' holiday season.
I guess well the holidays lately are somewhat hard on me cause I keep going back to Erin mainly because now was when we started to date and thus this time of year was also our aniversary. I dunno..just *shrug* weird. Mainly because I'm "with" someone, but can't actually spend the time with them becuase they're no where near me.
Just gets tough sometimes...specially..*sigh* I don't know. Just things've been mulling over in my head.
]:-scud-:[
