arg...i feel my relationship with jess just sort of simmering. like nothing's happening, and that's not a good thing. i mean we'll talk, but it's just a few words, then the conversation sort of dies. no one knows or is willing to talk about anything, not like we used to. i mean we used to talk for hours and hours on end. and then we'd call each other up and do the same.

we had this same thing happen before..right before i went out to see her. except then i kept getting the "you just want to come out here for yourself" and other such things. and of course i didn't listen to her, cause i knew she wasn't really saying those words, and that she didn't mean them. and i'm glad i didn't listen to her..but now..it's just nothing.

i guess something needs to happen..but nothing will happen for a while, like usual. her coming out here has been pushed back again and so..

the only sort of way i can relate this to anything is how i talk with my best friend kathy online. we really don't. we'll ask what's up and whatnot, but after that we don't say anything, but when we're together you can't get either of us to shutup..and i think that's whats happening with me and jess.

so needless to say i want her here, very much. but don't think i'll have my wish come true anytime soon..oh well such is life.

scud.