I was talking a one MsJ the other night on IM and she was only on so 'late' because she couldn't sleep. And the first thing she asked was if I was normally up that late, it was about 1 am our time. To which I replied of course I was, as most nights I spent those late hours of the evening talking to Jess. Most nights I'll goto bed at around 4am. And as I told MsJ thankfully I have a job where I don't have to be in until 5pm so my nightowl self can continue my weird schedule.

On a 'normal' day for me I'll wake up at around noon, come online check my e-mail and do a bit of catching up with a few friends. Then I've sort of figured around 2-4 mytime Jess will finally be awake and come on, so of course I'll talk to her for as long as possible, or until work starts. Then it's off to eat dinner with mi familia at around 6-7. Watch a bit of TV until 9 or so then come back on and talk to Jess either on the phone, or over here until oh..usually about 3 am. Then I finally goto sleep...and thanks to my wacky sleeping schedule, our family "dinner" is really my lunch, so come about 1 or 2 am I usually suddenly get hungry and am forced to scrounge around the house for something to eat. But now some people may say I'm crazy..but'm not. I'm just doing whatever I can to be with the one I love for the longest period of time..and well I'm a nightowl anyways so it's somewhat of a good thing that we talk the most late at night.

So there's a bit of random info for ya.

Today was odd, because I woke up to the beeping of our infernal answering machine, we have it set so that it beeps whenever there's a new message. And it was my sister asking me to e-mail her a copy of her resum�, which I did. But when I got done doing that..I sort of sat on our couch in the living room and was almost..not there. See I think (becuase I can't remember too clearly) that my entire dream I was with Jess. Doing..all sorts of things, some boring to most, some really really really interesting. So I wake up and am..well wishing that somehow in the middle of the night she had been magically transported into my bed. But she wasn't of course...so I was sort of mentally telling my brain to not expect to see her..since she wasn't going to show up anytime soon.

But god...my dreams of her with me are so vivid I swear I know her touch already, I know her scent, I know her. It's so damned frustrating to wake up and realize that...as much as I think I do, I really don't know her like that. But god do I want to, though I know someday I will, I just wish it was sooner rather than later.

I mean, it has to be something awesome if you think you can feel a perons touch on your skin when you've yet to actually fell it, and said person lives some 26 hundred miles from you.

And I know it's only going to get better. I don't know how I know..I just do.

Another thing I thought about the other night..while going to the bathroom no less (hey I swear you do the most thinking on the toilet, cause you're totally relaxed then). Was this...I have lots of pictures of Jess, doing 'boring' stuff and doing 'exciting' things. But as soon as she pops into my head, I don't picture any of the 'exciting' things. I picture he sitting wherever she may be smiling. Because I know that's one of the most beautiful things and she's so gorgeous whenever she smiles. I mean even now..as I write this at 3:25 mytime, noon -hers. I can picture her outside with her horses, doing something with them and just smiling as she does whatever she has to. God...just that picture in my mind is awe-inspiring. I can only imagine what the real thing is going to be like, I think I may pass out when I see it for the first time..

...and she said a comment the other night that sort of suprised me. She wondered if I would love her as much as I do now when we met. And I was somewhat shocked...because..if anything I would love her more when I could finally be with her. Because my one wish/desire would finally be fulfilled, to be able to hold her in my arms and just show her exactly how much I love her, and how much she means to me. And so I told her...

I'm sitting here still thinking about her, and it sort of hurts, because I can't hold her in my arms. But then I get this warm feeling around me and I know it's her love for me...and then I realize that no matter how far apart we may be, we have this love and because of that she's never really 'away' from me. And then I feel all better.

Man this is really getting to be a long entry..and I've still got some more stuff to talk about!

One thing I've done so far today was take Betty into the VW shop finally. So I drop her off at like..11..and the lady there says they're not sure if they can get her into the garage to work on her today..so I'm like. "Well if you can that's great..but if not..just try to get her worked on as soon as possible."

So looks like tonight I'm not gonna be making 60 bucks in tips, and will instead stay in the store to do..something, I'm not quite sure what.

And then today I think my dad said one of the funniest things I've ever heard him say.

"...do the dance of the flaming asshole!"

and I can't remember what he said at the beginning of the sentence..but as soon as he said 'dance of the flaming asshole' I was dying..the giggles just hit me and I was laughing for a good 5 minutes. Then I finally asked him just where in the hell he heard that. To which he replied "Rugby, of course." Stupid me....I've finally realized then that if he knows some dirty joke, or some other weird fact, he probably learned it from playing rugby. Because rugby players are a group of well..really 'dirty' guys who know a lot of funny ass jokes and stupid things to do while drunk.

So there, my long ass entry is done with..enjoy!

]:-scud-:[