i'm still sad, and very lonely. it just like never seems to end..maybe there's something wrong with me? in my head ya know? depression or something like that..i mean i've never felt like this for such an extended period of time..and/or had it impact my life so well..adversly. i think that's why i want to be with jess so badly, becuase when i was out there my mind was jumping, i could think clearly and whatnot.. but since then it's like my brains been covered in fog and i can't see everything i used to..so i'm operating at sub-par.
i just want to be normal again, not sad, not lonely. just normal, and somewhat happy. i know how to get that, but i kept being told i can't have it, over and over and over again. maybe it's time to tell those people 'screw you' and go for what i want.
scud
