someone who can go out into the world full of themselves and the fact that they can get anyone they want, at any one moment. that they're safe in the knowledge that somewhere there is indeed someone waiting up for them. waiting to get ahold of them, to tell them about their day and the fact that they make them more comfortable than anyone else. someone who realizes those split-seconds that can help to decide the way the rest of their lives are going to turn out, and manipulate them so that the outcome is the best. because like she said

Seconds are the most important. Moments so small you hardly understand that they're happening until you take the time to count one, or until something happens. Everything can happen in one second. It's seconds that make us remember a day, a month, a year. Seconds are the most dangerous things in the world, and there are so many of them that I'd like to rewind and erase so I could avoid the rest of my days being like this.

if only i could take that belief that i am someone totally new, into getting myself a new life.

scud