well besides the fact it's valentines day, the most phony of all 'holidays'. and besides the fact that it's yet another valentines day that i seem to have a girlfriend around the date, but when the actual date comes around i'm oh-so alone.

but more the fact that i could have spent the day not-alone for once..but i was too chickenshit to ask.

see there is a girl in my english class who i believe is digging me. well i say that because she gives the sign of 'diggage' [who knows if that's real. too fucking bad really, i'm not in the mood], and they are as follows.
1.going out of their way to continue talking to you.
2.actually replying to little things you say to see if they're listening/caring about what you say [like commenting how the ambulance infront of the school is here to pick up some poor schmuck, normal people wouldn't say anything and would keep walking]
3.talking to you during class when normal people do not say a word to anyone outside of their personal space.
4.saying snide things about the professor specifically to you.
5.not mentioning the fact that they're dating someone as soon as you attempt to start up any sort of friendly conversation [this of course would happen the very first time you attempt to talk to someone].

so yea she's exhibited those things. and of course [i can't remember how now] on thursday when we had class i smoothly [yea right, me smooth, just...imagine i can be smooth] asked what she was doing on the 14th. she replied with the fact she had to work [at a bank]. because of my chickenshit nature i passed on the opportunity to easily ask her if she would like to do something after she got off work [which couldn't have been late, you tell me any damned bank open past say 8 o'clock] or even found out where she worked and possibly suprise her with some sort of valentines day bs.

either way i've spent most of today putting the whole damned thing out of my mind as much as possible since it is so goddamned fake.

and for some reason i'm finding flickerstick is an actual good band, even though after watching vh1's 'bands on the run' i don't want to like them since they were the asshole-too-cool-to-work guys and the guys from some similar sounding band were more into doing the 'indie-guerilla' stuff..

scud.