I'm sitting here..and it's almost 2 am. And I've got class in some 4 hours, or well I have to be UP in 4 hours..but yet, I don't.
Maybe because I'm suddenly reading other diaries around the 'net. And seeing well..that some are really good and some aren't. But at a recent site that is all about giving out links to the 'good' diaries I saw a warning there
There are requirements though. Your journal must not be older than six months, and it must be more than just a rehashing of your day. As the "new wave" of journals, show us the best you have. We can not include everyone, however, a reply is guaranteed.
And I then come back 'here' and look at what I've written for the majority of my entries. And I well..would think that I would fall into that category, of just rehashing my day. But then I think back to a bunch of entries that don't fall into that category. Most of the more recent ones about jess, the entries about erin and many others. So I put this to you, whoever continually comes back here to read this thing, what would you consider this page/diary/journal to be? Nothing more than a re-hashing of a day, or something 'deeper'?
Post whatever thoughts to my dinky little message board thing, this is something I've really wondered, so please everyone who continually comes back here, comment...and since you continually come back here, you know I don't really beg for gbook entries, or any thing else like that very often.
..but then I went to a diary they linked off this site...and was piqued because of the snippet of his diary. It was about a HS student soon to leave HS for college all the way across the country in San Fran. But..well I read his entry for probably the last day before he went off to San Fran. And I got to thinking, what would I have written my last day here, before I went off to MICA. I think I know what I would have written. I would've written how glad I was to be finally getting out of here..away from my parents, this area. And I know one of the most important things for me..would be to finally be getting away from erin. At that point in my life that's what i so wanted to escape, the constant reminder of her and what had happened with her. God, I can almost feel the sensation in my stomach from whenever I'd think/see her. It was one of the worst feelings I've ever felt..
And then my mind fast-forwards to now. To how I am with jess, and how because of her I have forgetten erin, and what she did to me. I used to think about Erin a lot at random times during the day..and now, nothing. Now it's Jess whom I'm thinking of during the day.
..and I know that when we are together it will the best thing ever..and that it will be a lot easier than what we're going through now, the distance and all. But I also know it won't be a cake-walk. No relationship ever is..and this one has it's rough times every so often, but I'm almost glad to have that. Beacuse it's a sign that we're a normal couple and whatnot. I mean often times the two people who you see lovey-dovey and all perfect like on the outside..are usually having a helluva lot of problems with each other, and themselves, on the inside.
Then I sometimes think about how hard it's going to get for us. What with the both of us starting school soon, well I'm already in school, but she's starting in a month or so..I know then we'll have a lot less talking time..but we'll still manage to find the time.
Finally other times..i just well 'hurt'. I 'hurt' because I want her to be with me so badly, need her touch so badly, that I'm sad. Because she isn't here, nor can she be here with me for a while. But again, I know when we are together it will be worth all this..so I can deal with that 'hurt'.
]:-scud-:[
