i sat here and just fuckin cried..not the straight forward wailing type..but..the slowl steady tears..goddamnit..why did i not know this was going to happen? i mean for fucks sake this is me we're talking about..the person with the worst fuckin luck in the entire world...i swear to god..if something can go wrong at just the wrong time..it'll happen to me. and fuck..listening to pat mcgee's rendition of "carolina on my mind" ain't helpin to much either...goddamnit i'm such a fuckin sap...blah..most

oh well...we'll see what happens in a month or so...that'll be the 'true' (if there is such a thing) test...

]:-scud-:[