Joy.

Or not.

During the week after graduation I spent it mainly with Erin..sitting out behind her house trying to show her the err of her ways.

And all during this time she kept telling me she still loved me. So of course I was confused as fuck.

We would sit there and at times talk like nothing happened. And at others be pissed beyond belief.

Finally it happened. We were sitting in her basement talking about assorted things when we hear a knock at the door. I hear Mikey, her little kid brother shout out "It's Fat Matt!". Instantly I had to laugh, goddamn was that kid the pimp. Then I realized.

I had to get out. I couldn't, nor did I want to stay there. And I ducked out the back door, walked around the houses and the houses and tried to make it to my car. But lo and behold what should I hear

"Running away from your problems like usual?"

As I reach my car door and stop, turn and spot his lard ass.

"Nope not running at all. Finally realizing what I should've done long ago. Leave."

"Ya that's right you should leave your not wanted any more."

"Oh? That's not what Erin said."

This went on for a bit before I got to the point of wanting to run his ass over. Got in my car and backed it out of the packing spot. Only to see him standing next to the passangers side.

"Listen fat ass. You can't get your own women so you pick up my leftovers?"

"At least I'm a true man and repect my women."

"You what? Oh that's a fuckin lie if I ever heard one. How can you respect women by cheating on them?"

"At least I don't try to rape them." notice how he tries to change the subject and not answer my question?

"What the fuck are you talking about you fat piece of shit. I would never even try to pull that type of shit."

"Jessie told me one night you tried to get a bit fresh."

"Oh I think not..never, ever have I tried to pull something like that."

"Whatever your not wanted here, Erin doesn't want to talk to you."

"Oh? That's not what she said earlier."

This goes on for a bit more, him deciding what she wants and doesn't want and what she thinks.

Finally it came down to having Erin decide who she loved.

"Please don't make me Matt." to Fat Matt.

"Just choose..whoever you choose will stay whoever you don't, will leave." Fatt Matt

"...please don't make me..."

"Just choose."

"*long pause*...you.." to Fat Matt

"Fine...so be it. I'm gone."

And with that I gunned it in first and took off. I don't thikn I stopped driving for about 4 hours. Took all sorts of backroads went all over the goddamn area of Northern Virgina. Hit 115mph repeatidly and didn't give a goddamn if I got pulled over. I just....had to get it out.

I didn't cry that night or ever again.

Just gritted my teeth...until my jaw would ache.

I didn't eat very much for the next month or so as I had no hunger.


now i think'm going to go punch something.