I was going to write an entry earlier today...but then I sort of...was at a loss for words. I didn't, and still don't, know exactly how to describe to anyone who reads this thing at all just exactly how much I do long for Jess. I just want to hold her in my arms so badly it almost hurts sometimes. I mean have you ever felt so close, and so perfect with someone? Well I have that with Jess..only I can't drive down the road and talk to her in person. I mean so many time's I've felt her here with me, doing assorted things, but everytime I am awakened from my dream status to the harsh reality that is the fact she's not here, nor will she be here with me for a while. So I deal with what I'm dealt, and while I may wish she was here so I could hold her. I'm so thankful I have her at all, if you asked me any day if I could choose between having no one, having someone who lives near me, or having Jess with all this distance between us, who would I choose? I wouldn't hesistate to choose Jess, because I know I love her, and I know we have something that's intangible something...I can't even describe, but I know it's there. And for that I would wait for however long it takes before we're together.
And I know we will...it's just a matter of time, and well, yes I'd rather it be sooner than later; but we can't get everything we want always.
So I continue to long, to wish, and to hope...
I had a weird happening today also...I was at work and had to deliver a pizza. No biggie right? Well it had to be delivered to a place around/off of Erin's street. So I head on over and pass by her house..and I felt diddly. Which is amazing in and of itself because well..for the longest time whenever I had to go around there I'd wonder about her, and/or get a knot in my stomach. And yet, I didn't get that at all..the only thing I thought, was the fact it was amusing that her e: sticker that she had on her window was suddenly gone..
And again it's because of her, god I don't know what I can say to/about/for her that could even being to describe how much she means to me..
]:-scud-:[
