but since that didnt' happen and now it's too early in the morning, i can't quite think of what to update with. except that yesterday blew massive chunks and i really hope today goes better.

there's a lot of times that i'm thinking/feeling a lot of different things and i really wish at those times i could think of some way to write them out besides my usual "so " or "sometimes " because quite frankly, that's annoying as piss.

i say this because a lot of times i wish i could write things out elequently enough to give sara a meager idea in how much she means to me. i've had a lot of different girlfriend who i've dated for a long time [ok maybe only a few, but you get the idea] and in all of them there was always 1 glaring difference. they would never, ever admit when they were acting like a "girl" [ie, over-reacting etc] and that always, always used to piss me off. because how was it fair that you could say something about whatever, but if i did it, i was accused of bitching, or whining. boy did i ever used to get irked, but a lot of the times i'd never say anything to the girl because i knew if i did she'd then get mad at me for getting mad at her. can you see the endless loop i'm involved in here?

but that's not the case nowadays, and it feels so..right, like this is the way it's supposed to be. because it's natural and normal to get into disagreements and act bitchy every once in a while. while that's true nowadays most times no one will admit to acting that way, and it's so refreshing to have that with her, it's yet another reason i love her so much and can't wait until i'm over there and can wake up every morning with her in my arms. because frankly, that's the best way to start your day, screw maxwell house and their crappy coffee.

scud