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Reasons why english is hard to learn. @ 10.29.01
now it feels like a competition.

like we have to out-do each other and then 'boast' about it.

which isn't right. and i'm not going to do. infact..i think i will stop reading your diary..that way i'm not tempted..i do still care about you. i just don't want to have my relationship with kb turn into something where i'm trying to do stuff with her just to write about it here. cause damnit it ain't right.

infact as i said a while ago i'd rather not have you well..seemingly 'drop' little enticing tidbits of info about whoever you're dating to me. yes i'm sure he's a good guy cause you picked him. yes i'm sure he's cool, and lots better looking then me, i never said i was any of those two things. yes i'm sure he's much richer then i am, again i never said i was. yes i'm sure he's a lot better in bed and knows just what you want, because he's him and not me. not the person who is so terrible because well i got tired of the distance and the other assorted stuff. yes i guess i'm terrible because i couldn't keep a promise that well..damn near no one can keep, at least not realistically. yes i hope you have all the best with your new guy, tho realistically both of ours won't last. it's a simple fact which i dunno you realize, sure we'd like every relationship to last forever because it seems like that when you first start seeing someone. but the sad simple fact is..most don't. if they did then we'd only ever date one person and well...that would be it.

i guess i just had to say that..i still care about you and for you. but i guess when you told me what you had done with those 3 other people..i sort of lost some well..caring juice for you. because i don't/can't understand how you could do that when you were/are normally so against it. i guess maybe you're right..maybe i didn't know you, maybe i don't know you anymore. either way the jess i knew wouldn't have done that..or maybe it's a 'chasing amy' type of reaction..either way my whole..i guess perception of you has changed, and i'm not sure if it's for the better or worse.


either way..i can't be that serious for so long. so here's something to chuckle at.

Reasons why the English language is hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

scud.

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