anyways i dunno, i recently realized in readin a few of my current entries that well i've sorta changed how i write in here..without knowing it. i used to just write in here whatever bothered me and write. now i seem to censor myself..but not to a big extent. so basically i'm gonna try to stop doing that since that's the whole reason i have this, to write out what'm feeling. unlike a certain amount of people who're on dland i'm not in it for the hits, or to seem "cool" to a buncha people. i just started writing here cause it seemed like a good idea. i liked writing out what i was feeling, but couldn't hand-write it because my hand hurt too much. and so i started writing here..and kept on writing, and still am.

another thing i realized. i do an insane amount of deep thinking while mowing the lawn. i don't know why, i just do. i can't even begin to tell you what i was thinkin about when i mowed the lawn the other day, i just know it was deep. but again that's sort of the problem, once i'm done mowing the lawn, i've usually forgotten what i was thinking about..so it's sorta good..and bad.

so yea i'm gonna try to be more well..non-censored. tho i dunno how easy/hard that'll be, but i guess we'll see.

scud.