Yup I did. I went back to my old HS and got a transcript..mainly for NOVA so I can get out of taking BS math classes and such. But before I was going there I was sitting in bed..unable to fall asleep for another hour and a bit, but still awake. And I was thinking about her thinking about, Would I see her? What's she doing nowadays? shit like that. And i know it's totally pointless to think stuff like that because she wouldn't answer me if I called, or wrote her an e-mail. And then, I can remember reading some female diaries around here making fun of the ex who writes 'em randomly over e-mail, so again another reason not to. But goddamnit i just can't help but wonder what she's doing, even though I know she's still as much of a bitch as ever. I think the main reason I want to talk to her is to ask her "Why?" that's the one thing she never fully explained to me when we broke up. I treated her good, loved her, tried to provide for her, etc. The one thing that I discinctly remember her saying when she broke up with me about her and Fat Matt, was that "he understands my cutting." I remember hearing that, and to this day, it still gives me chills. Because I don't think he really understood it..I think he just lied like the fat-bastard he is.

Gah..anyways, needless to say I got my transcript, stopped and chatted with my old art and history teacher. And like I figured, I saw no traces of Erin.

Later that day I went and got a xmas tree with momma..which was fun and whatnot.

And now..now I'm sitting here reading good diaries like these and wondering..jebus mary'n jos�, boy do I wish I could write like them. I mean..really..most of the time they have both something amusing to write about..but also something that's true, and well written. Meanwhile I just have my incessant ramblings that make little to no sense. And btw, I highly suggest you go and read each and every one of those linked diaries, they're some of the best ones on all of dland.

]:-scud-:[